*who asks me these questions!*
I’m sorry if I sound like an angry, bitter, black bish, but I just got inspired by a recent conversation with a friend of mine which led me to write this entry. I’m not angry, just annoyed and I know I will still be asked these questions, but it is cathartic to write what I think about these questions and if a person pisses me off enough I can direct them to this here post. Here goes in no particular order…
1. Why are you single?
This question annoys me because the person asking doesn’t really want to know the answer. What if I said because I’m really crazy and people get hurt scared when I haven’t taken my meds (Poor Tyrone smh). I once talked to a CAD who would ask me this DAILY and at first I didn’t have a well-thought-out answer, so I thought of one and it went like this “Ok to answer your question I'm single because there's less drama, I like time to myself, everyone should know themselves before trying to get involved with someone else, I like to do what I want when I want without having to consult with anyone, and most importantly because I have not met anyone who's made me question or want to give up my singleness (or singlehood?).” He never asked me again lol. Most people cannot pinpoint exactly why they are single (unless you are awesome like me) or there are so many reasons why they are single that it would take forever to count the reasons.
2. When are you gonna (or don’t you wanna ) get married and have some nappy-headed babies?
I hate this question because first off you have to be in a relationship to get married, don’t you? So just be a loser and ask the question above, so I tell you the same answer I told the CAD and you can not ask me again. M'Kay, thanks- The Management. Unless they have some unmarried, mail-order Boris Kodjoe’s, I don’t see me getting married without at least being in a relationship with someone first (note: unmarried, mail-order Vin Diesel’s, The Rock, or any one of my celeb crushes will do). I must admit you can have babies without being in a relationship or being married, but I don’t think one-night stands are for me. And why do you care, unless you talking about helping out with taking care of said babies? Oh you weren’t trying to help? Well have a seat and raise your hand and wait to be called on!
3. How was your day?
Most people think I’m crazy for this one, but I assure you I’m not. This question bothers me because no one really cares about how your day REALLY was. No one wants to hear all the details about explosive diarrhea, cramps, people you crop dusted, how you spent most of the day fantasizing about Boris Kodjoe naked….sorry what was I talking about? No one cares about all of that, yet we ask that question, me included. And we expect a “fine,” “good,” or “okay” when it wasn’t that great. I’ve been tempted to give someone the play-by-play of my day just to see the look on their face and make them think twice about asking that question again, but I’m just too nice. *Le sigh*
4. What do you look for in a man?
Easy. I look for a man who doesn’t ask idiotic questions like this one. I’ve been reading many a relationship blog, numerous comments and remarks from men who get upset about women who have these laundry lists of qualities they look for in a man, because no such man exists and they are just haters (except for Boris Kodjoe, he’s perfect). But these SAME dudes ask what you look for in a man. And this questions stumps me because I know it’s unrealistic to say things like must be “Boris Kodjoe, The Rock, Vin Diesel, Flex Alexander, or Josh Hartnett (Note: all these men are at least 6 feet tall…just saying), and I don’t want to give a long list of qualities, so I usually respond with “I hate that question because I don’t know what to say” which buys me some time to bs an answer change the subject. Lame question, because I am not a liar and I almost never lie, but I feel obligated to so, in this case, I don’t come across as a stuck up or confused bish. It’s a lose-lose situation.
5. Tell me about yourself (not so much a question, but an open-ended demand statement)
So this has become common for job interviews and meeting new people. Like the last question, the answer to this question can go a number of ways. For a job, they don’t care about your life history/hobbies/likes/favorite foods, they just want to know things about you that SPECIFICALLY relate to the job. For everyone else, I guess they want you to say some common crap like your favorite color/music/movies/books, but not me. I will not fall into their little game. I respond with things like "I like blackberry phones and bacon and laser tag and kicking puppies. It makes for a much more interesting conversation which is what we all want anyway, memorable conversations that hopefully are memorable in a good way.
6. Do you have a job yet?
This is a new one. I am unemployed and have been for a few months. And it’s irritating as hell to have everyone constantly ask you if you found a job yet. If I found a job, I’d be SURE to tell you as I got it because I would be so excited, I’d scream it from the rooftops, post it on facebook, and get a twitter just to post it on there so I wouldn’t have to hear this stupid question again. As someone who actually looks for jobs, it’s disconcerting to apply for jobs, reformat resumes, apply to more jobs, search for jobs, apply for more jobs and to rarely hear back from any of them, if at all, only to talk to a friend about something other than jobs, than for them to ask if you found a job. It just makes you feel like even more like crap, so thanks for that FRIEND. And unless I’m asking you for money, be a good friend and help me get my mind off this crap for just a little while and stop being a jerk.
So that's it. That's my list of annoying questions. Do you agree? Did I miss any? Sound off in the comments because sharing is caring...and ish
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